Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
