Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
