you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
