thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
