We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
