Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
