Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You are a genius and a whore.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
