Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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