Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
