do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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