I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
