I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
