Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
