how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize