even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
