I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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