You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
