How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We need to get me chipped asap
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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