there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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