I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
