you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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