so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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