I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
FUCK WHALES
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
