Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
