Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
