garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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