I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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