it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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