so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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