we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
