Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize