"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
