I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
