He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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