theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
