dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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