Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize