Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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