In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
only if we run a train.
done.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
