it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize