I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
