I smell stomach acid.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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