I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
