I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
