I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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