Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
