go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
