i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
