oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
