what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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