just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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