Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
