Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
