So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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