my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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