please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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