you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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