I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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