how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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