Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
