yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize